The Resilient Widow

Anxiety; my constant companion, my unwanted partner in life. Anxiety can be a real bitch. I remember lying in bed when I was a young girl, worrying that my parents who were out for the evening, were surely injured or dead from a car crash. I had horrible homesickness throughout grade school. I just wanted to be in my safe place. Luckily, my anxiety subsided the older I got. And by the time I was in my teens, it was gone. I was a care-free and happy girl. Fast forward to 2011. Anxiety THROUGH THE ROOF. But how could I not have anxiety? Cancer in 2009. Losing my Husband in 2010. Cancer again in 2011. The bad news just kept on coming. The other shoe fell. And fell again. My brain became conditioned to fear and expect the worst. And it did. And boy oh boy did it affect all areas of my life. Becoming pregnant with my oldest was a true miracle. I was told I couldn't conceive naturally. So when I became pregnant, I was elated! Obviously. But I was also terrified. 24/7. I just "knew

Well, hello there strangers! It has been almost THREE years since my last post. What? I have no excuse, except for being a busy Mama and Fiancé. But from this point on, I will commit to post much more often. I am hoping to start some speaking gigs, so if you know anywhere or anyone that needs a motivational pep talk or testimony, I am your gal! Ok, so I am going to give you a super quick update on what has been going on in my world for the past three years. My two little girls are now 5 and 3 years old, and as of Christmas Eve last year, I have a FIANCE (Kris)! Yay! I am two years in to my Master's Degree in Psychology. I will finish in less than a year, and will begin my licensure hours towards becoming a Marriage and Family Therapist. Kris was deployed to Afghanistan in the spring, and then returned home from his deployment early. Honestly, I am not sure that my anxiety would have held out for another three months anyways, so that was a tremendous blessing. I am STILL cancer fr