Living Through the Unknown

-
Well... this sure is a scary time to be alive, isn't it? This recent pandemic has been so scary for so many people. Myself included. This time of unknown and uncharted territory can bring about so much fear, panic and stress in peoples lives. And it has. People are hoarding supplies. Schools are shutting down. Jobs are being cut. So many lives are being affected. How can we deal with the daily fear and stress? No idea.

 As someone who suffers from anxiety and OCD, this is such a terrifying time. I was already having a pity party about being in Maryland. I sat down recently and told Kris that I wasn't happy here. I told him that I am someone who thrives off community and support. And that is something that we lack in Maryland. I find myself feeling so bad for myself. I even had the thought, "Maybe I am not supposed to be happy here. Maybe my job is just to support Kris, and raise my kids." What a martyr. Then I heard a song by Jeremy Camp titled, "Keep Me In The Moment." The words of this song shook me to my core. I sat and listened to every word, and sobbed. This song not only relates to my time in Maryland, but also relates to the Coronavirus. The song goes:

 Singing oh Lord, keep me in the moment
Help me live with my eyes wide open
'Cause I don't wanna miss what you have for me
Singing oh Lord, show me what matters
Throw away what I'm chasing after
'Cause I don't wanna miss what you have for me
Keep me in the moment
Oh, keep me in the moment
Keep me in the moment
'Cause I don't wanna miss what you have for me

I needed to hear those words. I don't need to know why I am in Maryland, and I don't need to know why we are going through this scary pandemic. I just want to be in the moment. God places us in so many situations that we may not like or understand. But through each situation, He has a purpose and a reason. I don't want to spend my entire time in Maryland crying and complaining. I will most likely miss God's purpose for me. And the same goes for the Coronavirus. We don't know why this is happening. But I do know that good will come from this. Families will spend more time together. More dinners will be eaten around the dinner table. Kids will spend more time outside. Relationships will grow stronger. And growth will happen; as individuals, as communities, as a country, and as a race. I have to stop worrying about tomorrow. In every area of my life. I have to live in the moment, and make the best of what is in front of me for that day, as to not miss a single moment or opportunity for growth. 

I read a quote that states, "Meet today's problems with today's strength. Don't start tackling tomorrow's problems until tomorrow. You do not have tomorrow's strength yet." Again, as someone with anxiety, this can be challenging. I have terrible coping skills. I have been in therapy for almost a decade learning how to properly handle stress. When things get bad, I often turn to my old friend, disordered eating. I restrict. I obsess. And it becomes unhealthy. I need to turn my eyes to God during this time. I need to trust Him. I need to put all of my worries, fear, and stress on Him. I need Him to lead me, so that I can lead my two little miracles girls who are watching me during this time. I need to trust Him, so they can trust me. I need to lean on Him for guidance, just as they lean on my for guidance. I need Him to be my rock, so I can be theirs. 

All of that being said, my pity party must stop now. I am in Maryland. There is no changing that. We are all in social isolation. There is no changing that. So, we just need to take it one day at a time, lean on God, and take this situation in stride. I want to be in the moment, so that I don't miss a lesson or opportunity that God has put in my path. Do yourself a favor, and listen to this song. Live in the moment. As scary as it may be. Lean on Him. Lean on each other. And when in doubt, pray. 

Blessings xo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xb1bx3hYfzg







Comments

  1. A Hero's MomOctober 31, 2021 at 12:22 PM

    Yes it is a scary times. Especially for people who lie and cheat their way through life because you know your lies will be uncovered and you will have a price to pay for all of your deceptions.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Surviving the Recovery

-
Image
CANCER FREE. Two words that I have waited years to hear. After all of the radiation, chemotherapy, and surgeries, I couldn't wait to be cancer free. Well, here I sit, cancer free, and I am unbelievably miserable. This is not what I expected. It is worse. My surgeon warned me that my recovery wouldn't be easy. He mentioned to expect 6-8 weeks for recovery, but I just brushed that off. Perhaps I should have taken him a bit more seriously. I was so focused on surviving the surgery, that I figured any recovery would be a cake walk after all that I had been through. I could not have been more wrong about anything in my life. I felt better when I had cancer. I could eat when I had cancer. I could socialize when I had cancer. I could travel when I had cancer. I was a fully functioning human being when I had cancer. And now, I am a shell. A shell of what I once was. But I am moving too fast. First things first, the surgery. The morning of the surgery was terrifying, but not as ...
Read more

My Harrowing Statistics

-
Death is something that used to terrify me. My biggest fear growing up was losing an immediate family member. As a child, it was a crippling fear. I would lie in bed at night until I heard my parents come home, and feared that they never would. Death is also something that I did not have much experience with. I have never had to bury a grandparent, or cousin, or friend for that matter. That was until I buried my soul mate, my hero, my Husband. After Dan’s passing, death became a reality to me. My biggest fear had come true; I had lost the love of my life. And it became very real, very fast. Within 24 hours of being notified of Dan’s death, I was picking out caskets, burial plots and songs to be played at his funeral. It does not get more real than that. Since Dan’s passing, I have learned to live again. I have learned to laugh, to smile, to envision a future full of love and life. These things weren’t easy, but they did happen, in time. I have learned that life after ...
Read more

Vacations, and babies, and houses... OH MY!!!

-
Well, hello there! It has been far too long since I have last posted. It has been over three months! In my last blog, I mentioned that I was tired of living in the "transitional phase" of life, and that I was was ready to start living my life! And boy did I start living. The last three past months have been full of so many wonderful things, as well as some fear, anxiety and unexpected changes. I do not even know where to begin, but let me try! I have had a lot of dreams and goals in this "new" life of mine; post cancer. These dreams and goals have always existed, but some have grown stronger, and some were forced to be put on the back burner. One of my dreams that I, very painfully, had to put on the back burner was having children. I found out that after so much chemo and radiation that I was unable to have children. I attempted to have my eggs removed and frozen, but was only able to retrieve four, as my ovaries had completely "shriveled up," according...
Read more